Welcome back to an all-new segment of Fleshlight in the News! Today we'll cover a recent story that does not mention Fleshlight, BUT we believe it should. Of course, we're a little biased, but stick around, and we'll explain.
NASA Engineer Warns Against Men Masturbating in Space
While in space, astronauts spend a significant amount of time in seclusion, far away from worldly pleasures and conveniences that most of us take for granted.
And while their skills, intelligence, and bravery are unparalleled, they are, after all, still human and thus share our basic biological needs and urges.
Presently, the question circulating on the internet is whether or not astronauts are allowed (and able) to masturbate in space.
Late-night TV host Conan O'Brien waded into this awkward topic earlier this month while interviewing a NASA engineer (Smythe) on his podcast Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
In their chat, Conan asked if he had ever sent porn to the International Space Station.
"No, none of that," the scientist replied.
"Does porn work in zero gravity?" Conan probed.
There are strict guidelines over "alone-time" onboard in zero gravity – male masturbation is forbidden.
According to Smythe, masturbation is a risky game for male astronauts since "three female astronauts can become impregnated by the same man in the same session... it finds its way. Even the slightest rogue droplet has the potential to cause chaos on board."
To explain it further, astronomer Dr. John Millis has stated, "Sex and masturbation in space is a logistical nightmare, with problems ranging from floating fluids to shrinking manhood."
He also compared sex in space to having intercourse while "skydiving" but added that it was "not impossible."
"Each push or thrust will propel you in opposite directions; even the slightest touch can make it difficult to stay in contact if both people aren't properly grounded," he detailed.
The Solution to NASA's Sex Problem
Trust us; we get it.
This likely sounds like a rather preposterous proposition coming from us, but hear us out:
We think we have the solution to NASA's "sex problem."
Our Fleshlights and lineup of female masturbators might be what the doctor ordered for NASA's long, extensive voyages.
Our pleasure products are a viable temporary substitute for skin-to-skin sexual activity in terms of the actual sensation concerned. Many also consider it the safest alternative in the world – we believe this applies outside our planet, as well.
For men, a Fleshlight is not only a phenomenal substitution for the sensations of vaginal, anal, and oral sex, but it also serves a highly practical function. For instance, using our products, a male astronaut could ejaculate inside, carefully remove his member, and immediately tighten the end cap and screw on the front cap, securely locking his semen inside.
In addition to this feature, our expansive lineup of sleeves and textures would assure that male astronauts would have plenty of diverse options to choose from while on even the most extended voyages.
We've got female astronauts covered, as well! Our collection of replica dildos and HerSpot vibrators could be spectacular substitutes for the real thing while miles away from home.
With an array of realistic cocks and vibrators of all shapes and sizes, they too could ensure their sexual needs were met safely, without fear of any unexpected interstellar accidents.
Possible Complications
We recognize that this proposed "solution" does not come without its potential problems. So let's take a brief look at each one.
Space Erections
For starters, can male astronauts achieve an erection as easily as back home on Earth? According to this article, likely not – the basic mechanics of an erection do not work quite as well in zero gravity.
Zero Gravity Lubrication
The next question is if astronauts could effectively apply Fleshlube water-based lubricant to their sex toy before use with no gravity present.
What would it do, remain behind, making masturbation more pleasurable, or would it simply float away?
The Fleshlight Cleaning process
What would the sex toy cleaning process look like?
The Fleshlight cleaning process may be far too complicated (and messy) and would have to wait until back home. This likely may be true for women's toys as well.
So, the possible solution here would be for each Fleshlight product to be used once only and then either securely locked away onboard or ejected into the depths of space. This would mean that NASA would need to ensure they stock up well before blasting their crew off planet. We’re more than willing to donate a few toys to the cause!
And with that, we conclude this month's Fleshlight in the News segment. Make sure to head to Fleshlight.com and shop our massive collection of the best male and female masturbators in the galaxy!