Unless you’re a seasoned bachelor, living alone, with all of the privacy in the world and zero fucks to give, you have likely pondered the age-old question:
“Where is the best place to hide my Fleshlight(s)?”
Still live with your parents?
You definitely don’t want Mom to find your brand new Stamina Training Unit.
Does your girlfriend crash at your place on the regular?
Unless she’s cooler than your average “bae,” she might get a little jealous of your Autumn Falls Fleshlight.
Have a couple of roomies?
Let’s face it, when you have roommates, it’s hard to hide much at all, let alone conspicuous sex toys.
Think of this article as somewhat of a brainstorm of the best places to store your Fleshlight(s).
The truth is, there isn’t ONE perfect place to hide them. They all come with their pros and cons.
Earlier this year, we here at Fleshlight HQ took a day out of busy schedules attempting to discover the perfect discrete hiding spot for ourselves.
@fleshlightofficial ✨Discreet✨
♬ how would they know bad girls club - Chris Gleason
As you can see from our TikTok video, we don’t have it all figured out just yet, but here are a few of our best solutions thus far.
The Best Places to Hide Your Fleshlight
#1 Tool Shed
The Pros
Considering the black Classic Pink Lady Fleshlight case was specifically designed to resemble an item that any man would have lying around his house - a flashlight - we have to start with thefi tool shed or “tool drawer” as our first hiding spot.
Sure, it might sound slightly ridiculous to try and camouflage your sex toy with common tools (it absolutely is), but our CEO’s original concept was just that.
The Cons
Let’s face it, putting a sex toy of any kind in a dark, dingy, and (often) messy environment is probably not the greatest idea.
However, if you happen to have a clean, secure spot for your Fleshlight to hang out while not in use and it happens to be in an area where you also store tools, it just might work!
#2 The BathTub
The Pros
The bathtub or shower is a great place to not only use (and mount) a Fleshlight but ideal for drying one after use, too.
We’ve often thought that the Fleshlight Flight series, in particular, closely resembles something like a shampoo, conditioner, or body wash bottle.
What do you think?
All in all, being a great place for both usage and drying, this could also be a decent spot to leave your Fleshlight while not in service.
The Cons
There are a few drawbacks to the tub storage option.
For one, the edge of your bathtub isn’t always the most spacious. In many cases, there is barely room for soap and shampoo, let alone a male masturbator.
Also, if you own more than one, you’re probably going to need to look elsewhere.
Secondly, we doubt you will fool everyone into thinking your Fleshlight is a body wash container. As the Fleshlight brand grows, more and more people are aware of Fleshlight and can easily recognize one.
But, hey… is that even a bad thing?
#3 Spice Cabinet
We know, we know. This sounds absolutely insane. But hear us out.
The Pros
Think about it.
If you own a Fleshlight Quickshot, you could totally pass it as a “container” of some sort if you blend it in strategically with your seasonings and spices.
Especially the Quickshot Stamina Training Unit. (our others are fully transparent)
It’s literally one of the last places anyone would ever consider storing a sex toy.
The Cons
However, this might come off as a little gross if we’re honest. We’re putting something that involves your dick alongside ingredients that go into your food.
Sure, if you’re just cooking for yourself, it’s all good, but come on. If you live with others or have someone over and you’re cooking for them…
Well, you can probably imagine what their reaction would be.
#4 Home Gym
The Pros
Of all our Fleshlight products, the Stamina Training Unit is the one that could justifiably be stored at your home gym, considering it’s literally designed to train your stamina - your sexual stamina.
Not to mention, with its cap screwed on, it almost looks like a gold dumbbell, too.
The Cons
By storing your Fleshlight at your home gym, you’re really not even trying to hide it. You’re just integrating it into your existing equipment and hoping nobody notices.
The main drawback we see here with this idea is not only is it going to be pretty apparent to those in your home, but the last thing you need to do when you’re trying to get in a workout is to give in to temptation and blow your load.
It’s usually best to save your fapping session for AFTER your workout, not during one.
#5 The Bookshelf
The Pros
Books and other items typically found on a bookshelf can provide camouflage for your Fleshlight to inconspicuously reside.
Take the FleshSkin, for example. With its display-like case and interesting sleeve design, this is a Fleshlight that looks like it was designed to be stored out in the open on a surface such as a bookshelf or a nightstand.
This could be an option worth considering.
The Cons
On the other hand, hiding one's sex toy on a bookshelf, for all the world to (likely) see has been tried before...
“I’ll just store this sex toy on my bookshelf. What could possibly go wrong?”
The Closet: The Best Place to Hide Your Fleshlight?
Despite the previously mentioned hiding spots being badass (and hilarious) in their own right, it’s safe to say your standard bedroom closet might be your best option.
After cleaning your Fleshlight in your bathroom, you either dry it there or transport it to your closet for both drying and storage.
A closet provides a variety of space, allowing you to be as creative as you’d like when storing your Fleshlight, keeping it away from the prying eyes of your family and social circle.
Regardless of where you choose to hide your favorite ‘pocket pussy,’ we here at Fleshlight wish you the best of luck!