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Sep 08, 2009

Ten Places To Hide Your Fleshlight (If you have to)

So, you need to be covert. You don't want your friends or relatives knowing about your dirty little secret. You worry about being found out. You need to hide that Fleshlight better than Saddam hid his weapons of mass destruction.

There is no need to be scared of being caught with a Fleshlight. Nobody is going to hang you...hopefully. But if you can't think of a place to store your bundle of love, here are ten great places that are sure to keep you stealth.

In no particular order....

10. The toilet tank. Nobody should be going in there, and if someone does, they have more explaining to do than you.

9. An air conditioning vent. A couple of screws guarantee that your Fleshlight will never be seen. Just make sure its clean, or your whole house will smell like a Fleshlight - good or bad, not sure.

8. At the bottom of your laundry basket. If you don't have anyone that does your laundry for you, you have a sure bet nobody is going to go through your dirty underwear.

7. Your car trunk. If you are desperate and have someone living with you - keep it in your trunk and bring it out only as necessary. Just remember, it won't help you change a tire....but it will help you pass the time.

6. The mailbox. If it doesn't have a stamp, it won't get taken. If anybody other than your postman goes into your mailbox, they are committing a crime. Your postman is sworn to secrecy as well.

5. Behind the washer. When you're cleaning clothes, get dirty and bring it out. When not using the Fleshlight, nobody is going to look behind the washing machine. Plus most machines are fairly easy to move.

4. Under the couch. So you don't forget where you put it, remember this easy line, "Let your guests sit above your flesh."

3. In the vacuum bag. With the cap on, the Fleshlight sucks on you - now let it rest while the vacuum does the sucking - maybe it will pick up a couple of tips? You may want to put the Fleshlight in a plastic bag though to avoid any dust.

2. Under your pillow. Unless you plan on having sleep-over company, you can't go wrong under your pillow. Even Fleshlights need a little cuddle every now and then.

1. Don't stop using it. You never have to hide if you never stop using it right?

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