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Nov 25, 2009

Pulling off the Thanksgiving Flight

Just because it's Thanksgiving doesn't mean you won't get horny. In fact, all that hard work of preparing a dinner can get you pretty riled up. It could even get to the point where you start to notice the turkey's meaty curves (...please don't, you know because of the salmonella thing) after your hand has been in its most intimate places. So we ask the question: With family in town, most of them who you hate, how do you pull off sneaking away for a Thanksgiving session with your Fleshlight?

5 Excuses That Let You Slip Away for a Flight

5. Take a spill!

If you are serious, spill some of that gooey bacteria infested raw turkey juice on yourself. This gives you the right for an immediate shower. Purify yourself, then take a spill into your Fleshlight.

4. Make everyone have a little extra wine.

There is no better way to get some time for yourself than by putting everyone to sleep. Throw in some toasts that you don't drink to and the family will hit the floor at their last bite. While everyone is passed out, lube up in the bedroom and go to town.

3. Nobody likes to have to go get Grandma.

Someone has to do it but nobody wants to. Your flight is worth it, so raise that hand when someone needs to go get ole' grumpy granny. Get in the car, take your Fleshlight with you and stop at a pre-arranged location to make your ride. Just don't forget to get granny afterwords and don't leave any evidence on the seat or things could get reaaaaallly awkward.

2. Pay for the family to go to the movies.

There is always some kind of movie release on Thanksgiving day. Be the big man of the house and pay for everyone to go catch the newest flick while you stay home and "clean". Little will they know that the only thing you are cleaning is your pipe.

1. Don't show up.

You hate your family and you just want to fly. Do the ultimate act of self pleasure. Just don't even show up to your family Thanksgiving. Use your Fleshlight in private and head to Denny's that's what I call a Grand Slam.

Happy Thanksgiving from everyone at Fleshlight. Post your own suggestions below on how to get away from the family for a Fleshlight go!

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