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Nov 02, 2010

Election Day Sex

This election day, it is important to remember that people you elect have passed the very laws that you must live by. From the amount of alcohol you can drink to the amount in taxes you must pay, it is all decided by the people you put into office.

Well, some of these punishable laws are just plain ridiculous! In fact, if you are reading this blog there is a good chance that you are a criminal. Let's take a look at the most bizarre, yet real sex laws across the nation.

You can't see what you are cumming on in Virgina
In the state of Virginia, it is unlawful to have sex with the lights on. Now I am not sure what year this law was passed, but perhaps lawmakers suffered from a time when Virginia didn't exactly have the best looking women in the country. This way when the ol' wife wants to know why you never want the lights on when you make love you could just say, "Baby I want to, but the thought of going to jail and losing you forever isn't worth it." How romantic.


In Texas you may not own a dildo for every day of the week
Ladies of Texas, if you have a special guy for every day of the week in your drawer you could turn into a convicted felon if caught! In Texas it is a felony to own more than six dildos. In an effort to try to see the lawmakers point of view, I decided to contact our local capitol. I am still on hold...

All women in Washington are virgins
Washington is the land of purity. Thanks to a law that states "it is unlawful to have sex with a virgin under any circumstance", the state of Washington is run over with virgins. Now before you go booking your flight to be the fearless god of sex sent to save all the women of Washington from intercourse-absence, do know that somehow they still have babies there. Scientists have this reproduction thing all wrong apparently.

No more blowjobs for you!
Attention citizens of Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington, D.C.: Oral sex in your state is illegal! Nothing should be in your mouth except the food going in. With so many states on the "mouth is for food" bandwagon, you have to second guess your stance on oral sex. Even though you may like it, maybe it is wrong after all. The feeling of a womans soft full lips sliding ever so gently on your stiff, hard erection, twirling her tongue teasingly over your throbbing head......woah, wait wait wait.

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