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Jan 03, 2012

A Hiding Place For Your Fleshlight

About That Fleshlight You Bought Yourself For Christmas

by RICK RODAY on DECEMBER 29, 2011
Post image for About That Fleshlight You Bought Yourself For ChristmasSo you are surviving the holidays and spending time with your family? New Years is only a few days away meaning the holiday Season is almost over and we’re here to get you through the rest of it. At this time of the year there’s often too many social and family gatherings, every room you go in is so chock full of people so tired of small talk that they will latch on to every movement and action you make. Not sure how to handle the resulting lack of privacy and constant presence of loved ones which makes it impossible to masturbate? We here at Peeperz think our readers don’t deserve such torture, so we’ve done a little work to help you out.  Here are three simple ways you can justify having your Fleshlight, America’s fave fuckable simulated vagina hidden in a flashlight case, near you while spending time in a house loaded with family members. These methods have been designed and tested to optimize your chances of sneaking a quick wank while lowering your risk of getting caught. Method #1: Turn it into a real flashlight. Let me paint a scenario for you. There are 854 strands of Christmas lights scattered throughout the house, every single television is tuned into A Christmas Story, and your dumb fuck cousins decides now is a good time to blow dry her hair. A circuit breaker has been tripped and a large portion of the house is cast into total darkness. A well-meaning family member approaches you and asks you to investigate the matter with “that flashlight you’re always carrying with you.” You damn well know a rubber pussy in a tube isn’t going to help you get out of this one, so what do you do? Well, if you had planned ahead and stuck one of these flat LED lights on the end of your unit, you would flip that mother fucker on and go fix that tripped breaker. To the uninitiated observer, you’re simply carrying a functional, perhaps oddly smelling flash light. As an added bonus, you’re headed into a dark basement all alone with your Fleshlight in hand. Before you flip that circuit back on and return to your family in a triumphant spectacle of manliness, go ahead and pound off a quick nut. Method #2: The Flesh Saber. During the holiday season, nobody questions the presence of a toy in the hands of a grown man, unless it happened to be a sex toy, then everyone would question the shit out of it. If you insist on carrying your Fleshlight around with you, odds are someone is going to eventually ask why you’re holding a piece of plastic roughly the size and shape of a dick. Unless it’s a light saber of course. With a little elbow grease and some basic knowledge of tools, anybody could attach the business end of toy light saber to the business end of a Fleshlight. The result is a discreet pussy simulator you can carrying around with you with the added cover of being a fully functional (and awesome) toy. Nobody is going to give a second thought to the presence of a toy in a grown man’s hands during Christmas, and when nobody is looking you can put your dick in it. Method #3: The RoboCop blow job dispenser. Let’s be reasonable for a minute. You’re probably not going to be able to carry your piece on your person at all times. You’re going to need a viable hiding place for your Fleshlight at some point. If you have a mouth-orifice model then I have a solution that might work for you. RoboCop is a pop culture icon who has been relevant for nearly 25 years. He’s also the perfect hiding spot for a sex toy. All you have to do is get a Robocop bust, or mask and replace his mouth with your mouth-orifice Fleshlight.
Look closer at the mouth 
If you take your time and do this job properly, it won’t be any different than a normal RoboCop bust, except for the fact that you can fuck it. You could leave your Fleshlight out for the world to see and nobody would be the wiser. Well there you have it! Hopefully following one of these methods will make your holidays a little brighter this year. Alternatively, if you aren’t spending excessive amounts of time with loved ones this year, any of these projects would make perfect homemade gifts. Nothing shows that special dude in your life that you care like a blow job from RoboCop. Your move, creep! Your move. Shop Fleshlight

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