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Oct 02, 2009

5 Celebrities That Need a Fleshlight

From Letterman to Pee-Wee, we give you 5 celebrities this week that need a Fleshlight.


5. Pee-Wee Herman

After his appearance on the Jay Leno Show, Paul Reubens (aka Pee-Wee Herman) is back in the mainstream. In 1991, Pee-Wee was arrested for lewd conduct in an adult theater, when he was caught masturbating in public to The Nurse Nanny. Everyone loves the once Saturday morning favorite, so let's keep him out of trouble and get him a Fleshlight. He'll like it so much, he will marry it.

4. Jon Gosselin

Now that Jon and Kate Plus 8 is known as just Kate Plus 8, Jon may miss out on some of the face time on television. He currently has no problem finding the latest Plus 8 groupie, but something tells us that his fifteen minutes may be coming to a close. For the sake of not having another Plus 8 show with a future wife of Jon Gosselin, let's keep that super strength semen hitting the end caps of the Fleshlight line.

3. Kanye West

Once on top of his game, Kanye is now having concerts scrapped because of low ticket sales. Famous for using his Auto-Tune microphone, he is going to be singing some pretty sad songs as his career comes to a screeching halt. Let's put his dick in a Fleshlight so that he can keep his dick out of other people's business.

2. Michael Vick

Twitter went crazy with Nike bashing this week after rumors spread that the famous sports outfitter had re-signed Michael Vick to a sponsorship deal. Vick is on a short leash (no pun intended) and should do everything possible to stay out of trouble and keep his NFL career. If we keep him busy with a Fleshlight, the only thing getting beat will be his...

1. David Letterman

The world was shocked when Late Show host David Letterman talked about a man's plot to extort him out millions. He even admitted to past affairs with employees. We don't have a top ten of advice to give David Letterman, but he should find more than ten Fleshlight variations to choose from to keep him out of trouble.

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