Here’s a riddle for you.... Besides the beautiful round moon blocking out the sun, as our moon will appear to do during the total Solar Eclipse on April 8th, what else is round, thick, and also blocks out all the light if it happens to be in your face? A butt.
Now, allow us to geek out for a moment. According to NASA, the April 8, 2024, total solar eclipse will cross North America, passing over Mexico, the United States, and Canada. This is a rare opportunity because total solar eclipses that are visible from the US are actually pretty rare. In fact, we have not had a total solar eclipse visible in the US since 2017, and that one was the first to occur in 99 years. The April 8th eclipse will cut across the middle of the country, and so anyone from Texas to Maine can enjoy this rare spectacle. You can check out NASA’s cool maps on their eclipse tracker site if you want to learn more.
Anyway, here at Fleshlight we like to think we have a pretty good sense of humor...and so to commemorate the total solar eclipse visible in the US on Monday, we have declared a sale on butts! Huzzah! For a limited time, the Emergency Butt Sale offers you 20% off some of our tightest, most delectable butt holes, including the Vibro™ Butt, the Quickshot Stamina Training Unit Lady/Butt, and even the Fleshlight Ice Butt. If you have never tried a Fleshlight Butt before, there’s literally no time like the present to slide inside and give it a go.
And because life has a way of being funny, it turns out there is actually a “Dr. Butts” out there who is the optometry division director and residency program director at the UPMC Vision Institute. (Seriously can’t make this stuff up...) According to Dr. Butts and common sense (which apparently many people lack), you should NOT stare directly at the sun during the solar eclipse. In fact, don’t stare directly at the sun ever, but even when the eclipse is at totality and seemingly blocks out all the light, there are still dangerous rays that can fry your retinas and thus ruin your vision. So take it from us: listen to Dr. Butts and be safe!
You can pick up eclipse viewing glasses for free or cheap and then enjoy the marvel of this special celestial moment all you want. And of course, you can pick up a discount Fleshlight Butt right now and save big...because even though the eclipse is only a fleeting moment in time, your love of butt is forever.
Ps. Another fun geeky fact: The first recorded total solar eclipse visible in the United States occurred in 1778—just two years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The wild thing? The 1778 eclipse was visible from the Carolinas to New England—all the colonies fighting for American independence.